So, it's finally cold outside here. Perfect for me, winter has always been my favorite season. So breath-taking in it's beauty, in addition to the rarity of snow around here. Anyways, I'm not really sure what to write; therefore, I can garuntee it WILL be random.
        Lately there has been a lot of frusterating, saddening, and immature drama going on between some of my friends. Kris, Courtney, Matt, Kelsey, and Maggie. Maggie and Matt dated for around two years, while Courtney and Maggie have been bestfriends since they were two years old. For about a year of the two years the couple was together, Courtney always flirted with Matt, and Matt didn't hold back any. Matt and Maggie split and within a few hours, Courtney and Matt were acting like a couple. Yadayadayada. Anyways, Courtney isn't getting out of this unharmed and Maggie never had a chance. Poor Kris (who is in love with Courtney but she only thinks of him as a friend, even though she knows his feelings for her) is heartbroken and his friendship (bestfriends) with Matt is ruined. Kelsey is just trying to protect people. And opposed to my previous belief, Matt is slowly imploding. There are some new scars on his arms now...and even though I should know how to react to this and help, I have no clue where to start.
        So I guess life is alright. Stressful, sometimes disapointing, but life all the same. School has obviously started (sophomore year. yay?). Still two more years. There are so many things whipping around in my life. Most caused by the schedule I'm attempting to hold down.
       Well, that's about all I really want to say right now, so I'll just put a poem on that I've written recently. I love to write :) Just about the best thing in the world.

"Ghost Pain Past"

Sitting here remembering everything;
Ghost-pain from memories a million miles away.
Pulling me into an exact mirror of my past;
I need you to convince me to stay.

Feeling the same way I did then.
A dangerous deja-vu in my head.
Running and falling from the present.
Echoing back to what the scars said.

Scars that stood for excruciating pain;
Hidden under a hardened mask---outside.
I need you to give me a last-second save;
Pull me back again and give me a place to abide.

Fraying ends between whatI see and what was.
Blending shades of grey.
Losing the fight through remeniscence.
Stare at this bridge while it decays.

Does any hope remain?
That I might break these rusted chains.
Or will death again be my beckon call?
Sending me to the grave with it all.

Does any time exsist,
Between the pendulum and my unbroken wrist?
Will the old flames resurface and consume,
Everything left in the shadow of doom?

How is this broken barrier is being rebuilt,
By hands other than my own?
Will there be any rescue this time?
Or will I be a cracking bone?

This aggression begins to sink in;
Depression seeping through the gaps.
Do I have any time for a last stand?
Or am I simply destined to finally lapse?

~Amanda J. Grondin~